Clean

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I like clean. I love clean sheets after I’ve had a lovely bubble bath and I am also nice and clean. I love having clean bathrooms..the smell of freshly scrubbed tubs and showers and the toilet bowl freshener. I like sweeping off my deck after the long winter and getting it cleaned up for summer flower pots, and hanging out on freshly cleaned deck furniture with a shiny clean glass outdoor table…just waiting for that first yummy cookout. I like clean floors in my home and enjoy the sound of my little robot vacuum as he concientiously travels his route and picks up dog hair and dust bunnies and assorted this and that, leaving my wood, tile and carpets fresh and clean. I like my clothes clean and don’t mind laundry. I rarely get behind with the wash. And I like organized. I like things to be in a neat logical order so that they are easy to find and to keep track of. I enjoy order and sensible places for things. This is how I de-stress my life.  When my home, my life, my mind becomes cluttered, then for me, that causes a great deal of stress.

Clearly, this last (nearly) year, has not been neat…or orderly…or uncluttered…or clean. It has been messy, and chaotic, and illogical, and, above all, dirty.  Sex addicts bring a level of dirt, filth, degradation, smuttiness and baseness into our lives that we, of ourselves, would never stoop to. They roll around with pigs and then bring the stench of the shit home….sometimes they bring along the pig.

That brings me back to liking clean. I want a clean life. I have strived to live a clean life.  I am trying to have clean memories, clean thoughts, clean desires. A clean heart. Will brought one of his skanks here to my home. There is nothing I can do to ever get this home clean again. The bed they screwed in will be sold. The sofa they screwed on will be sold. But the shower?  The floor? That nasty whore used my toilets, touched my furniture, touched my light switches, doorknobs, appliance dials….my husband. All under this roof and within these walls. This home is dirty, tainted, filthy. It goes on the market on May 6th. I hate being here.

I am building a new home. With no history, no memories, no skanky ghosts lurking around the corners. The new home will be all new…new walls, new floors, new roof, new fixtures, new furnishings. We will create new memories, new experiences, new growth, new chapters in our life book. This new home will never, ever be defiled or dirtied with the stench of addiction. Infidelity will never be allowed in the front door. Pornography will never enter in through door, window, cable, router, phone, Internet or in word or print or thought. Anyone with standards less than those we hold regarding faithfulness in marriage will not be welcomed. This new home, like the two people who plan on living in it, will be clean. Yes, it will be tidy and neat but, more importantly, it will be clean and free from lies, infidelity, the filth of addiction, from gut-wrenching pain and heart breaking betrayal. This home will be clean

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8 thoughts on “Clean

  1. I’m sorry that you have those memories of what he did with her in your house. I’m the same way about my house and even though my husband’s whore was never in my house there is a lot of pain associated with it now. Our house is going on the market around the same time.
    Hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So much loss, so much pain, so much devastation in their wake. Although Will is starting to see the fallout of his horrible choices, I don’t think it is possible for him or any of them to fully understand the true impact they have on us and how we view life. Good luck to you, Forever. *hugs*

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Aren’t you just blown away that these whores have the audacity to step into a wife’s home to screw around with the H. You have to sell because they don’t make enough bleach to get rid of skankdew, even if you tent the house. Make sure the new house is in your name alone. Hope it sells fast. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The new house will be in both our names, BUT the post-nup will ensure that it will be all mine should Will do something so stupid as to sully it or our marriage ever again! And speaking of skankiness..Will took the slut to a strip club the night she was here…high class bitch huh? 🙄

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  3. I totally understand. ❤

    BE's OW was in my house, but never in my bedroom or most of our rooms really. They did not have sex here. She sat on a sofa in his office that was given to the Goodwill years ago. The house has actually been completely remodeled since she was here. She never took a shower here or cooked in the kitchen because she doesn't cook. She was here for maybe 30 minutes and then demanded to leave. She said something rude about a large family photo I have on the wall (because she is an awful, bitter, hateful woman). That photo still hangs there. At first it made me sad that she had been in my house at all and that she had rudely commented on that photo. I walk by that photo every day and I smile now. My family is intact and we are doing well. How sad that she would need to stoop so low as to insult a photo of my children. What a pathetic woman.

    I am glad you are getting a new house for your lovely, new, fresh, clean beginning. xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I feel like her skanky presence has dirtied everything she may have touched. It sickens me and it is difficult to be here. This home was my safe place, my haven. No longer. I cannot wait to get out of here and start over!

      Liked by 2 people

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