Do you know someone who is perpetually happy? You know the type…that person that always, ALWAYS sees the glass as half full….even when the glass has shattered! I used to think that I needed to try really hard to be this type of person. I was taught that “no one likes a frowny face.” That cynicism or pessimism was never, ever OK. Somewhere along the way, my interpretation of that came to mean that if I had a suspicion, a doubt, or felt cranky about something, then no one would like me. Enter the perfect storm of a sex addict + a people pleaser. Wow…what a set-up. It is no wonder that Will’s addiction ran amok for so many decades. Did I enable him? Probably. Did I do it knowingly? Absolutely not! I was simply trying my best to be a “happy” person. You know, being happy for happy’s sake. Because that would mean that I was a good person and other people would like me. Right? Right!?!?!?
Well, the revelation of all the ugly in my fake happy life has irrevocably changed my perception of what real happiness looks like. I now know what happy is NOT. I know that it is not pretending that a glass is half full when everyone know the damn thing is bone dry. I know that true happiness does not come from someone else’s reality and certainly not from their notion of happy. I believe that happiness is unequivocally linked with truth. It is grounded in authenticity. It is based on the ability to live a genuine, real life, facing trials and joy with the same strength. It is the sure knowledge that happy is not a state of mind, it is a state of being. No one, and no thing can make one happy. Just as no one and no thing can make one unhappy. Yes, circumstances, situations, actions of others, even our own thoughts can affect our mood. That is called life. But, only our choices can ultimately determine one’s own happiness.
So, for me, I choose happy. Not for the sake of “being a happy person” but rather as a choice for the quality of life I prefer to live. I choose to live in truth and reality and if that is sometimes not a happy circumstance, that is OK. The glass won’t be half empty or half full…it will have however much it has…and I will still have happiness. I don’t choose happy for happy’s sake, I choose happy for my own sake. I hope today you choose happy too. ❤️