I Scream, You Scream…

 

Day 10

Ice Cream L❤️VE

Our family has a serious commitment to ice cream. All of us. From Will down to our youngest granddaughter. I am not sure if that is a nature or nurture thing, but the family trait…habit…addiction…obsession…whatever you want to call it, is strong and unwavering. I do not know of a time, ever, when anyone has declined an invitation to go out for an ice cream, share a dish (or a carton!😳), or hang out and make home-made to enjoy. When Will and I went to Italy several years ago, we made it a priority to find THE best gelato (San Gimignano), and we faithfully track down the best ice cream shop where ever we travel.  We know the opening date of our favorite soft serve place in town for the summer and try to be there on the first day…and we are sad when they close (Aug. 29 this year) for the long winter.

So, one of Will’s quirks in his addiction, was to go to a massage parlor at lunch time, swing by the ice cream drive thru for a cone and get back to work. Aarrgghhh!  How could he?!?! Nothing is sacred! I was so angry at the thought that his stupid selfishness had ruined even ice cream for me. But, oh, the ice cream demons within are strong. It took a little time but…the trigger of soft serve has been overcome! Will told me a couple of weeks ago that he doesn’t go get a cone at all during the day. For him this is a big deal. Even in recovery, he would still go get a cone a couple of times a week. But now, he says, he loves ice cream and he loves me. What he really loves is getting ice cream with me. He says he has traded what he had (a lonely cone)for something better (sharing that time and treat with me) I like that a lot. I like that this is something Will has done for himself, but also for me. I like that ice cream is a happy thing from before, and continues to be a happy thing now. 🍦

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2 thoughts on “I Scream, You Scream…

  1. Thank you for this post. I have recently had a similar trigger with ice cream which used to be a fun thing for my H and I to do. Just before he went to treatment he admitted that he had been seeing another woman. He insisted there was no sex but said that he took her out for ice cream. I was pretty angry that he would have robbed me of such simple fun in order to act out. I have acne learned that he actually did have sex with her and I’m not even sure if the ice cream happened at all. And of course I no longer care. Yesterday I found the courage to return to the ice cream shop with my H and took back that experience. I am glad I did.

    It is so sad that this disease robs us of these small loving experiences. We are beginning to heal and hopefully can restore the love to ordinary moments that build intimacy in our marriages.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Boomer, good for you for taking back what is yours! Marriage is hard work but I believe that it is the simple small things that ease the everyday stress. When our partners stomp all over even these simple things, it is devastating and utterly inexplicable. It is a victory when we can reclaim them and find our happy in them again. **hugs**

      Liked by 1 person

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