Day 12
Live to Learn
I have a love of learning. I am always interested in how, or why. I love to read and travel, to see new places and try new things. I love, love, love to have good solid conversations with people from whom I can learn and grow. Wise people are fascinating to me and I am always striving for more knowledge.
Now, I will tell you that in the case of Will’s addictions, this has been a bit problematic. There is no rule book, no betrayed wife manual, no one size fits all for how much knowledge is too much knowledge. The amount of info about this whore or that skank which is enough for one betrayed, is likely too much or not enough for another. For me, since I always want to know as much about something new in my life as possible, I have had to determine where the top of my bucket is. It is sometimes a fine line for me to know when the “ugly Will with the skanky whores” bucket has been filled. It’s a work in progress. 🙄
Anyway, back to my initial point which is the thirst for knowledge. As I learned more and more about sex addictions, childhood abuse, betrayal trauma and complex PTSD, the less daunting and scary it all became. Such is the case with most things in life. The not knowing of something is what is frightening, painful or emotionally devastating. Thus, my continual quest for more…more information…not necessarily about the shitstorm brought into my life by Will, but more now just my regular search for knowing. Again, I have to say that I love to learn. Unlike a lot of kids, I always loved school. I have several professional designations and a degree because I always felt a need to keep on top of my game. Now, I am more interested in just learning about, well, whatever interests me. This brings me to this coming week and my break from my attempt to blog everyday about what is happy for me. Learning is a happy thing for me. I get excited to learn something new, to try out a new concept or think of something in a different light. Thus, I am spending this coming week at a University that offers “Adult Education Week.” This is an opportunity to go to as many offered classes on as many subjects as one chooses for five days. Classes are taught so by professors, authors, experts in a variety of fields of study. I went last year, even in the midst of my trauma, and although several of the courses were triggering (some on sex addiction, marital fidelity, pornography etc.) I still garnered so much insight and felt I gained some valuable perspectives. I am so looking forward to this coming week and am poring over the course offerings trying to determine which classes I will attend. I will not be blogging this coming week and will return home and back to my happy commitment next Monday the 22nd. Until then, think happy! I am certainly in my happy place. 😊😄😊
I Have Lots of Lemons 