I haven’t written in awhile. . . Not since I returned from my week on campus (which was incredible! I will post about that later) because in life there are priorities. Upon returning, my sweet little 3-year-old granddaughter developed an eye infection. Not a big deal, one would think. Neither did any of us. My daughter treated it with a salt water compress and since there was no accompanying fever or other symptoms, assumed it would run its course and her body would process the bug and her immunity system would fight and win. After a couple of days, however, her eye became swollen and she refused to open it. She also stopped moving her other eye, choosing instead to move her whole head to change her view. A trip to the doctor provided some eye drops and advice to keep using the salt water compress and to watch for fever. The next day, our poor little girl was irritable and complaining of pain. As her mama was able to force the eye open for just a peek, it was clear there was more than just an infection going on. A trip to the ER resulted in an ambulance ride an hour north to the Denver Children’s Hospital for a sedated MRI. This was last Friday. . . My daughter and granddaughter have been there since then. I have been living part-time at her house as my son-in-law manages work and the drive back and forth to the hospital and I wrangle the other three children. Will and I went to see her yesterday and her cheery little self is much improved and her eye is healing. We are hoping she (and my daughter) can come home today. Her condition is called orbital cellulitis and hers was severe enough that they were concerned about it morphing into something which would cause a loss of vision or worse. We have prayed so hard for this little one. We are relieved and grateful she is healing.
I have shared this because I sometimes get so wrapped up in my own bubble of recovery, trauma, healing, forgiveness, resentment, repentance, gratitude. . .the whole cycle of emotion and experience that is my little world, that I can lose my own vision of the larger world. The important things. The life and death issues that are ongoing everyday and don’t just stop because I, LeighKay, happened to have married an abusive sex addict. I have been reminded that the really important things in life are the ones that ensure our happiness. I endeavored to blog throughout August about my “happy” in life and I had quite a few entries although not as many as I had aimed for. While it is true that many things, many people and many situations or ideals can bring on the happy in life, I believe that true happiness comes from our connection. When we are connected, at a real, authentic level, we find purpose and meaning. We participate in each other’s joy and sorrow, we feel and empathize one with another. We share all that is beautiful and good and noble with each other but accept all that is flawed and imperfect as well. We appreciate the value of another just for being one of God’s children and are grateful for the opportunity we have to live our lives come what may.
I am grateful my little granddaughter is on the mend with no long-term damage to her sight. I am grateful for the opportunity I have had to be available and helpful when needed. I am particularly grateful that throughout this family crisis, my focus has been on this crisis without having to wonder what Will was up to, where he was, if he was where he said he was and doing what he said he was doing. Not because I trust Will. But because I trust God. And because I have gotten to that place when I realize that THAT was the most important thing all along.