It again has been many, many months since I have felt compelled to write anything. Because, honestly, my life is so ridiculously normal. I mean, aside from riots, fires, pestilence, plagues…you know…real every day life. Maybe it is because the world is in such turmoil and my American life seems to be on the brink of destruction that maybe my own personal, intimate, hell of living with a sex addict seems minuscule in comparison. Or it could be that I am finally to a place where, despite all the external chaos, things are finally, truly in a place of serenity and peace in my life. I don’t feel the need to think about what Will has done in the past. I don’t feel the urge to litigate all of the indiscretions and pure evil he perpetrated on us. I have no desire to feel the pain of betrayal. I certainly don’t have a need to continue to dwell on what happened or why. It is, quite simply, in our past. It is not who we, as a couple, are anymore. It is not how we identify or choose to live our lives. Yes, Will still attends meetings and continues his outreach to help others. Yes. I still read healing information and practice mindfulness and meditation. But, no, we are just not immersed in the world of recovery/healing much at all anymore. We see the Therapist infrequently now, preferring to spend that time together doing something we both love to do. Sometimes, that is simply sitting quietly together reading under our pergola with music playing along with the crickets. We spend time with one another, with family and with friends. We spend a lot of time at home and we have finally broken down the barrier to lovemaking. That is still a work in progress, but it is lovely and intimate and emotional in a good way. Life is so, so beautiful and fulfilling and wonderful. We are blessed and grateful to be living it together. I continue to pray for our world, for those in so much pain and for all who have been my sounding board, my support and my virtual friends for so long. I have a deep abiding love for all of you and a gratitude for the constant understanding, compassion and guidance with which you have been so generous. Simply put…I would not have been able to heal and even survive without you all. Thank you is such an inadequate phrase for how I feel about you all. But, life goes on. I will be writing even less but I still read and comment and reply and I am not discontinuing this blog. I want each of you to know that being in that place of pain is not forever. There is healing, there is hope, there is complete recovery. It is possible to move out of that place of betrayal and there is a great amount of love and life yet to experience. I am in that phase of my life now and it is beyond my ability to describe the peace and joy that is in my heart. Life is amazing and I am excited everyday to live it. God is so, so good. I love you all and I will still be here, living, loving and not just surviving, but thriving.